She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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