sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
