Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
