just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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