I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
