I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
