his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
