I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
