Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize