note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
