Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
