i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
