You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
