Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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