So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
