On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
