I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
