She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
