Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
