We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
