one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
