my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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