would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
