Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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