How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
