And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
