Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
