you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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