I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
