somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
