I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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