it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
