okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
