so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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