I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
