I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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