i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
