At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
