He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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