Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Are we still banned from the library?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize