I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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