i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
