She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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