I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
