god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
