Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Enjoy the penises
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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