Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
