bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
