it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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