The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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