i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
