i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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