I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
someone owes me an orgasm
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
