your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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