The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He better not be in your backpack
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
