I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
