Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Randomize
