I want to walk on stilts...naked
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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