Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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