Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
