ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i think i have herpe
just one?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
